• November 1

    I did the 5k run at Ed Austin Park this morning and finished with my best time yet. I stopped once near the end to walk for about a minute. I probably could have made it the whole way, but I kept speeding up without realizing it until I couldn’t handle it anymore. I felt great about it, though. The rest of the day was low-key. Finished the last octopus and bought supplies to make 50 more. Took Christina to dance. Caught up on my running log. Went for a short walk with Robin in absolutely beautiful weather. And made Pinot wear these tacky light-up glasses that Robin got in her trick or treat bag last night.

    November 1
  • October 31

    Christina went trick or treating at a friend’s house this year, so Robin and I tried a new neighborhood nearby. It was way better than ours. Lots of people out, houses decked out with amazing decorations, just a great neighborhood vibe. Meanwhile in our neighborhood, it’s like Halloween never existed. Dark, empty streets. Glad we tried something new.

    October 31
  • October 30

    I did a trail run at Julington Durbin Creek Preserve this afternoon. I figured since it’s flat and there aren’t ruts or roots to worry about, it’d be more or less just like running on the road, but the softer ground made it a lot harder. I did not succeed at an easy run, but I did have fun and then I hiked the rest of the trail for a total of about 5 1/2 miles. It was a beautiful day today, around 60 degrees and sunny, and so nice to be outside in nature. I went out for sushi with my chorus friends after Christina’s dance class and that was nice. And I hemmed a pair of pants for Christina. I’m definitely improving – both legs ended up a little short, but they were the same length and straight! Christina’s happy with them. That’s all that matters.

    October 30
  • October 29

    I ended up taking a sick day from work today because I couldn’t keep my eyes open or my brain focused enough to do anything this morning. I went to the couch to lie down and woke up at 12:30, ate lunch, and went back to sleep until 2:45. It’s unfair that I go through this almost every month. The pharmacy is always out of the medication I need, and it takes days to come in. And since it’s a controlled substance, I can only order it one day before I run out, and I can’t transfer it to another location. Every fucking month. Some months are worse than others… this was one of the worst. I finally woke up enough to go out for hibachi with Billy and Robin (Christina was at dance). And now it’s 9:30 and I am so ready for bed. Thank god the medication finally came in tonight, so I’ll have it tomorrow. This is miserable!

    October 29
  • October 28

    I am unbearably exhausted. I tried hard to get comfortable enough in the car to take a nap while Christina was at dance, but it turns out cars aren’t really made for the driver to get comfy enough to fall asleep. I contorted myself in many ways, and almost succeeded in getting comfortable once or twice, but mostly I was just trying to keep various body parts from falling asleep without me. And that is why I can’t wait to go to bed.

    October 28
  • October 27

    Today was an average day. Nothing much special happened. Work was kind of slow, then I made dinner (spaghetti and meatballs), then went to dance, and then home to make more octopuses. And now I think it’s time for bed.

    October 27
  • October 26

    I rocked this morning’s 5k. I finished in under 40 minutes, by far my best finishing time since coming back to running last year. I didn’t quite make it running the whole way, but it was pretty darn close. I am so proud of myself and the effort and work and patience that went into it. I feel amazing. The rest of the day was pretty productive. Made three octopuses and four napkins, went food shopping, cleaned the kitchen, did laundry… And now I am exhausted!

    October 26
  • October 25

    I am getting better with sewing. I’ve learned how to wind a bobbin WITHOUT it getting tangled, and how to thread the bobbin and the needle ON THE FIRST TRY. I’ve gotten better at cutting fabric in matching sizes and sewing in straight lines. I took in the kids’ Halloween costumes and made these lined trick or treat bags, and it felt good. Robin and I went to the quilt shop across the street to pick out fabric and I bought way too much, so I think I am going to try to make some napkins with the rest. And if there’s any left over after that… we’ll see. Maybe a table “runner”. It’s a lot more fun to sew when you kind of know what you’re doing.

    October 25
  • October 24

    I felt good about work today, which was a nice change from the past week. But I am also exhausted because I keep waking up before sunrise to go running and that is exhausting. But dude. I get to see the sun rise. Watching a sunrise is so much different from a sunset. It’s more intimate, because less people are witnessing it. This photo is not a sunrise, however. It was supposed to be a photo of grazing geese in the sunset, but the geese are evidently invisible. It’ll have to be enough to know they were there.

    October 24
  • October 23

    I am fascinated with Robin’s nail designs and what goes into them. It’s so intricate and nuanced. She’s incredibly frustrated when something doesn’t work the way she wants it to – all my children definitely lack patience – but sometimes I can help her find enough hope to try again. That’s where we are tonight, but it is a delicate situation that could either lead to certain doom or to vindication and glory. I’ve witnessed both and I’m sure you can guess which one I’m praying for tonight.

    October 23
  • October 22

    I feel like all I do here lately is talk about running, but lately running has been the best part of my day. This morning was a tough fartlek that I didn’t 100% complete. I was feeling pretty crappy about it until I looked at my stats and saw that when I stopped to walk for what I thought was a minute or two, it was actually only 15 seconds. And while I’d thought I’d skipped over several easy run intervals, I only actually skipped two. And also my hard pace was a 9:00 mile and my easy pace was a 11:30 minute mile, and both of those are much faster than my normal easy effort pace of a 13:00 mile. So actually it was a pretty good run after all. Plus I got to see the sun rise and it was beautiful. Otherwise I’m getting more ok with things at work. Not really ok, but more ok. And still making octopuses. Or aliens. Or jellyfish. Maybe all three. And the weather has been amazing. October in Florida is the best.

    October 22
  • October 21

    Today I paid Robin $8 to draw a picture. Mostly I wanted her to stop looking so listless and grumpy at the dinner table, so I offered her $2 to do SOMETHING she found at least mildly entertaining for at least ten minutes. She decided to draw, and (surprise) wanted to keep going at the end of the ten minutes. Of course she wanted to be paid by the minute, but instead I asked her to place a value on her finished art – as though she were an artist selling me her work. She said $8, I said $6, and then she went ahead and drew a second picture and threw it in to earn the extra $2. I don’t know if this is smart parenting or lazy parenting because it really feels like I’m paying my kid to like, breathe, but DUDE. How do you get teenagers to do ANYTHING?? At least this way she’s doing something that gets her out of her head AND she’s learning the value that can be gained from doing it. Because let’s face it. Artists can get paid for their art. And why shouldn’t she? Given tonight’s success, I’m thinking of commissioning some work for our bare bedroom wall next. We’ll see. For now I’m just happy with the small window of success we had tonight. Because I know it ain’t gonna last. These kids are wily like foxes. It’s hard to stay in front around here.

    October 21
  • October 20

    I had a redemption run this morning while I watched the sun rise. Ok, I hate waking up early with a deep and sincere passion, but once I’m outside breathing fresh air and taking in the sun, I usually don’t regret doing it. That really was the best part of my day. Work has been… disappointing, I guess, but that’s not really the right word. I’m trying to make the most of things, but my heart isn’t really in it. So what do I do instead? I make octopus keychains! It is so incredibly mindless, and I have no idea if anyone will even like them enough to spend money on them, but finishing one and adding it to the growing collection is so satisfying. Even if they end up resurfacing from the bottom of the bin at every Kindermarket until the end of the school’s history, it will have done me good to make them. And so that’s that. Another Monday.

    October 20
  • October 19

    I got a lot done today. Talked to Siggi for a bit, went food shopping, made a bunch of octopuses, wrote up my race in my log (including this beautiful sketch), did laundry, played games with the family, made dinner and cleaned it up… Not too bad. I am not looking forward to facing work tomorrow.

    October 19
  • October 18

    I ran my first 5k race since the spring today. After a whole bunch of great runs, I had built this one up in my head, big-time. Before the race even started, I was crying tears of joy imagining myself crossing the finish line after running the whole race without waking. But then I couldn’t even make it to the one-mile mark without walking. I finished with a dismal 43-minute finishing time. BUT: Until I looked at my finishing time, I was really happy with the race. Even though I stopped to walk a lot, I felt strong the whole way. The weather was incredible and the scenery was great, and I truly enjoyed myself. And I RAN the last quarter mile. My pace was GOOD and I felt pumped when I finished. In all those ways, the race was a success. And then I got home and realized why my performance had been so terrible. As I pulled into the driveway, I started having double vision. It was so disorienting that I could barely walk straight. I started thinking about what could have caused it and then I remembered, dear god, I didn’t eat anything today. And then I ran three miles after not eating anything. And then I had a beer at the finish line. I don’t know how I went the whole day without eating. I almost didn’t believe it as I tried to remember what I ate, because I never felt hungry. I did have a little tunafish sandwich, but that was it. That’ll do it, folks. So lesson learned: Do not run a race without eating for almost 24 hours and then drink a beer at the end.

    October 18