Christina’s at a party, so I decided to visit a new-to-me park nearby. It’s pretty small and I didn’t quite get a full sunset, but it was peaceful and I appreciate that. It’s also a little chilly! But I also appreciate that. I am still bumblefooting my way around parenthood, which is emotional and taxing. For everyone. Today we were supposed to meet Rosina and Dion for dinner, but Rosina wasn’t feeling well, so the four of us went out on our own. Nowhere too special, but there were milkshakes and a game of Poop that embarrassed the – well, poop – out of both of them. I know I’m trying to build trust, but sometimes embarrassing your kids is irresistible. Back to work tomorrow after a three-day weekend that felt more like five minutes than three days. So it goes.
Tag: sunset
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December 13
I have not been sleeping well for about a week now, and it’s starting to show up in what I have to give to the day. This morning’s run was much harder than it should have been, and it took me hours to recover. I had planned to put up the outside Christmas lights, but all I could manage was plugging in the inflatable flamingo we bought this year and a string of lights along the walkway. I did also put out our Santa and reindeer flamingo set and the Christmas lawn flag, so at least there’s something. We’ll get to the rest… eventually.
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December 3
The exhaustion is palpable. The pharmacy FINALLY filled my prescription, so hopefully I start seeing improvement in the next day or two. In the meantime, I’m spending as much time with my eyes closed as possible.
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November 28
We were all so looking forward to Universal and it was really a letdown. We were there more than 12 hours and only went on four rides. The lines were SO LONG. And there were so few of them. Almost the entire park is filled with shops. Like I really want to spend $100+ (per person) for the opportunity to go shopping. I don’t know if it’s always like this or if it was just especially crowded because of the holiday, but even though we thoroughly enjoyed the rides we went on, it wasn’t worth the 8-10 hours of standing around to ride them. We are all exhausted. Not a total waste. We did have fun. It’s just that 90% of our day was wasted standing in line. Could have been worse.
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November 4
Robin and Christina stayed after school today for cheer tryouts. Sounded like it went pretty well, although I have my doubts about Christina’s participation since, you know, she takes 10+ dance classes every week. It doesn’t leave a lot of time for cheering at basketball games. But I couldn’t deny her sweet face when she looked so forlorn at not completing the tryout, so she goes back for day two on Thursday. Robin seemed to particularly enjoy it – I think deep down she still loves cheer and misses it. I’m so mad at her prior coaches for ruining it for her. But let’s see what happens. Anything Robin does that is not sitting in her dark bedroom is a good thing in my book.
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October 27
Today was an average day. Nothing much special happened. Work was kind of slow, then I made dinner (spaghetti and meatballs), then went to dance, and then home to make more octopuses. And now I think it’s time for bed.
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October 24
I felt good about work today, which was a nice change from the past week. But I am also exhausted because I keep waking up before sunrise to go running and that is exhausting. But dude. I get to see the sun rise. Watching a sunrise is so much different from a sunset. It’s more intimate, because less people are witnessing it. This photo is not a sunrise, however. It was supposed to be a photo of grazing geese in the sunset, but the geese are evidently invisible. It’ll have to be enough to know they were there.
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October 13
Today was a holiday where about half the people I know had the day off and the other half didn’t. Full time employees had to work, but our contractor agency was off. Since about half our staff is made up of contractors, it was very quiet at work. The girls had the day off from school, but Billy had to work. It was odd but not entirely unpleasant. Robin got to try out her new false eyelashes (my, they are big, but they went along well with the beaming smile that came with them). I took Robin to the gym to meet her friend to play volleyball, but communication crossed and it turns out we were all planning on meeting at very different times. We will try again tomorrow, because the girls have ANOTHER day off. Also of interest today: Christina located the paddle we couldn’t find a couple months ago, so now we have three usable paddleboards, yay! Too bad only two of us like using them. Maybe I will try to sell or give away the old one. The weather has finally improved, and it’s honestly almost perfect. All in all, not a bad Monday.
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October 6
Working on some attitude adjustments today. Seems to be helping a little. I’ve been listening to Coach Bennett’s Podcast and I can’t get enough of it. I’ve lost so much hope in my running, and his podcast is helping me turn my mindset around. I find it inspiring for my day to day life, too. Celebrate ALL the successes, celebrate the weaknesses (because they’re great opportunities to build strengths), if you can’t do the run you want to do, do the run you can do… Lots to take in, and I feel like I need to listen to it nonstop for two straight weeks in order to counteract all the negativity in my head right now. But it is helping. And also it’s not just about running.
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September 29
Today was a day of tedious, mind-numbing activities like sending 43 emails with QA results to our team, completing 10 trainings (bringing my total to 20 and leaving 12 to go), and tying up a lot of loose ends at work. I did, however, have a great run this morning – a 20-minute easy run that was actually easy, for the first time ever. This made me ecstatically happy. All in all, not too shabby.
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September 17
Something small and big seems to be changing. I feel like I’m losing touch. Things feel disconnected. I am directionless. It’s an unsettling feeling, and I feel like I am coping in strange ways, cracking jokes that aren’t quite funny, making art that isn’t quite beautiful. I know this is all very vague, but that’s how it feels to me – vague. So I try to focus on what I know. I got the windows tinted on my new car this morning. I tried to write a compelling story about my team at work to share with someone that I only hope will care. I worked out at the gym and saw muscles that weren’t there a few months ago. I took Christina to dance and saw a beautiful sunset before I picked her up. I made cheeseburgers for dinner and the grill caught fire. I watched volleyball with Billy. I talked to Robin about college and her birthday and her friends at school. And now I guess it’s time for bed so I can be ready to do it all again tomorrow.
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September 11
Repairs on my car are $3,500. Also I have a road trip planned in a week. For some reason, my brain is not processing this, and I don’t know what to do next. So we went to Chili’s.
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August 26
I made the most amazing alfredo sauce tonight. It is like 496 points on Weight Watchers and worth every ounce I gain as a result. I am sitting in the parking lot at dance and all I can think about is going home and having more of it. Sometimes I amaze even myself.
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August 25
Christina officially started her new dance season today. She’s already talking about next year and not doing team so she can do other things too. I don’t blame her. She’ll literally be dancing six days a week. But she loves her pre-pointe class, so that’s good.
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July 26
The wild manic streak I’ve been on for the past nine months seems to be coming to an end. I’ve finished all my projects and have been completely uninspired to start anything new. Most of the time I lie around, unable to think of anything worthwhile to do. I did manage to have lunch with a friend, which was nice. The girls and I went for a short walk after dinner and that was nice, too. I guess it’s better than nothing.
Year in Photos 