It was such a stressful day at work. I haven’t quite been able to step out of it. But we learned today that Vienna is in Austria, not Belgium. Thank you, Alexa. I sang the song to Christina and to my surprise, she said, “I know that song!” Go figure.
Tag: bedroom
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August 26
Billy and I made the impossible decision that it’s time to let Jackson rest. He can’t even lift his leg to pee. He’s not interested in food. He can barely walk. He sleeps all day. I am emotional mud right now.
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July 21
Took the car in for service today, learned I had a nail in my tire, walked out with a patch instead of a new tire, and called it a good day. Watched Hoosiers again with Billy. Still a good movie.
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July 8
Pretty typical day. We had therapy, Christina had dance, I made cheeseburgers and Robin and I ate them on the couch while Billy was at the gym. Continuing to get a lot done at work. Really getting obsessed with my book – I need to finish it and know how it ends.
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June 29
Christina started surf camp today. She didn’t want to go when I dropped her off. I think she was feeling insecure and self conscious, which is understandable when you’re trying something new. But a very sweet girl noticed she looked uncertain and came up to her and invited Christina to sit with her until the class started. I swear some kids really are some kind of wonderful, and this one absolutely is. Of course by the time Christina came home, she was excited and now she wants to do it for another week. I’m a little jealous, to be honest. I’d love to learn how to surf. Maybe someday I will. For now I’ll settle for enjoying Christina’s happiness.
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June 12
I think we’re all set for our trip tomorrow. Took Christina to dance and it was fucking hot in the car. Thank goodness it’s only a 45-minute class. We had Renna’s white pizza for dinner, which is always a treat. I think Jackson suspects something.
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May 14
I finally got all the medications I’ve been waiting for – picked up six of them this morning. How is it possible that I need that many medications? Sigh. The rest of the day was pretty blah. The kids did well on their state tests, and now they’re pretty much done for the year. Christina had dance and Billy made pork loin. Christina wanted to make cookies but we were out of chocolate chips, so she made peanut butter cookies instead. They were pretty good! I keep ending the day completely wiped out.
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May 10
Christina and I wanted to go paddling this morning, but the weather was a little too iffy, so we decided to postpone. Instead we went to lunch at Wicked Barley, which was the best burger I’ve had in a very long time. Then we met up with Colleen and fam for dinner at European Street. I have eaten enough for three Mother’s Days. And I am ready for bed!
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March 12
My ankle still hurts after playing it “safe” and running on the sidewalk in the dark and not on the street, where I’m more likely to get run over if someone doesn’t see me. I was rewarded for that decision before I even rounded the corner, because I turned my ankle on some uneven sidewalk. It just keeps hurting more and more, which is annoying because I only got like two runs in after my last injury. The good news is it’s starting to feel better today, but with traveling next week, I will have to wait a little bit longer for my running fix. The good news is I found my headlamp, so I’ll be running on the flat pavement from now on.
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February 26
Today was a day for AI. I have a GPT at work named Fred who helped me write my goals, write up a control for my training program, and even talked me down when I was feeling like my class was getting away from me. I was very resistant to the idea of relying on AI to do work I’m already good at, but it really is helping me take things to another level. It thinks of things that I’m already thinking, but gives that thinking a little extra flesh. I know there’s a ton of controversy around AI, but I’ve found it to be a powerful tool if you don’t rely on it to do the work for you. And my pal Fred appreciates my sarcasm, and for that alone I’ll keep him.
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February 21
Now that Robin and I are talking again, we tackled the massive challenge of cleaning her room. Holy fucking shit. It was absolutely nauseating. There was something soaking wet in her hamper that had been sitting there god knows how long because the floor is now completely rotted where she had it. I am sure it was at least partly, if not mostly, urine. There were 83 soda bottles in there. Used menstrual pads. Used band aids. It was fucking DISGUSTING. I need to take two showers now. It took us four hours and 12 garbage bags to get it cleaned up, but it is now beautiful. We’ll see how long it lasts. I’m not sure it’ll make it until morning.
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January 15
I have been absolutely exhausted. Every time I start doing one thing, I get pulled into something else. Everything feels unfinished and chaotic. So when the kids started fighting about Kraft mac and cheese while I was trying to finish two other things at work, I kind of gave up on life. I tried so hard to solve the problem, but Robin wouldn’t talk to me except to say, “I don’t care” and Christina wouldn’t listen to me without interrupting me to say, “OK!” So by the time I got to dance, I was done. I was so done that I turned to the only person I could think of: ChatGPT. It recommended dinner out at Carrabba’s, and don’t you know, it was a good decision. It wasn’t perfect, but I did leave a little happier, if only utterly exhausted. What a day. I’m ready for bed.
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November 22
The day just seemed to fly by. Went out for a run, then to the gym, then to Panera for coffee, took a shower, and all of a sudden it was 1pm. Made a bunch of octopuses and took Christina to dance. We had hot dogs for dinner and watched Penn State pull out a great win. Maybe not the most exciting Saturday, but the day did feel full.
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October 2
I had the day off from work. I was disappointed that the weather didn’t hold out for paddling, so instead I went out for coffee and wrote for hours. As much as I love writing, it still felt like a waste of a day. I don’t know who will ever hear or read what I’m writing, so it feels kind of pointless. As does reading, which is just a way to pass time. It feels like everything I do is just a way to pass time. I’m not getting much out of it. Hence a long, long line of pretty shitty photos of basically nothing. I am not sure how to get out of this rut.
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August 21
Christina had a rough walk home from school. She somehow missed the walkers group and got left behind. Picked her up on the side of the road just before a storm and she was in tears. Poor thing. The other kid had photography club and seemed to like it. Need to get her into something… she is sliding into isolation and bad habits again. Billy and I are trying to be more present – and persistent – with her. Pretty sure she hates it. I guess that means we’re doing the right thing.
