Something small and big seems to be changing. I feel like I’m losing touch. Things feel disconnected. I am directionless. It’s an unsettling feeling, and I feel like I am coping in strange ways, cracking jokes that aren’t quite funny, making art that isn’t quite beautiful. I know this is all very vague, but that’s how it feels to me – vague. So I try to focus on what I know. I got the windows tinted on my new car this morning. I tried to write a compelling story about my team at work to share with someone that I only hope will care. I worked out at the gym and saw muscles that weren’t there a few months ago. I took Christina to dance and saw a beautiful sunset before I picked her up. I made cheeseburgers for dinner and the grill caught fire. I watched volleyball with Billy. I talked to Robin about college and her birthday and her friends at school. And now I guess it’s time for bed so I can be ready to do it all again tomorrow.
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September 16
More change at work. I’ve spent a lot of time over the last few weeks perfecting a pitch for restructuring my team and now it’s all out the window because the rest of the organization changed first. I will have yet another new leader, and who knows what will happen after that. I’m a little sad. Change can definitely be good, but the unknown is scary. And all the long months between now and change feel endless, because my team is in need NOW. Guess we’ll get out the box of Band Aids again.
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September 15
I am reading Beloved, which I’ve never read before, and it’s beautiful. So painful but so beautifully told. We all still have so much to learn.
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September 14
Robin asked to go to the playground, so… why not? It was a gorgeous day. We ate dinner on the patio, then went out for ice cream and to the Game Haus, where we tried out a few new games. We had a lot of fun, but now I have a headache. It has been a stressful weekend for me. Hoping a good night’s sleep does some good.
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September 13
I didn’t intend to buy a car today, but I did anyway. It’s a nice car. It has air conditioning. But I am exhausted. Robin and I were there literally all day, and buying a car is stressful. Tomorrow I have a four-mile run planned. I am going to need to do something outside after that to balance out all the stress of the last couple weeks. I hope the weather cooperates with that plan.
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September 12
I talked on the phone for nearly seven straight hours today. How did I have that many meetings on a Friday? But Pinot got a haircut and now we can see his eyes again.
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September 11
Repairs on my car are $3,500. Also I have a road trip planned in a week. For some reason, my brain is not processing this, and I don’t know what to do next. So we went to Chili’s.
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September 10
I made the mistake of looking at the training materials we are using at work. Cannot unsee! My colleague suggested I trash it and ask ChatGPT to rewrite it for me. Man, I don’t know what it is, but I hate the idea of being shown up by AI. But… we’ll see what it can do.
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September 9
My days are getting away from me. Time seems to blend and I’m losing track of where I am and what I’m doing from one minute to the next. Every day feels the same. Also the air conditioning in my car is broken. So there’s that.
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September 8
Today involved a lot of work stupidity and a few moments of insightfulness. It rained, which felt nice. Other than that, nothing much of note.
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September 7
I took the girls to the mall with their friends. Robin got to go alone and had an absolute great time. She didn’t want to leave, which makes me so happy. Christina also had a great time, but had to stick with me. I guess there are worse things. I was good and didn’t buy much, but I did need some things for an upcoming work trip, so came home and spent it all on Amazon. Oh well.
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September 6
I had all intentions of sneaking away to do some writing today, but not surprisingly, the day got away from me. I did, however, build Legos with Robin. We’ve completed the 3-in-1 that Christina gave me for my birthday, so we went to the store and bought some more. Robin’s already finished it. Too bad Legos are so expensive. There’s always her birthday.
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September 5
The last few days have been brutal. Work is stressful and then I am exhausted all evening. Today’s big accomplishment was putting together what I hope is a compelling proposal to do some meaningful hiring on my team. Time will tell. Robin and I spent 20 minutes cleaning up all the poop in the dining room, which Pinot clearly believes is his own personal toilet, but then we built these penguins together. I love spending time with my family – truly more than anything else on earth. I still want to throw up because yo, all the fucking poop, but also I’m happy because we made a fucking penguin. We rule.
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September 4
Not surprisingly, I am exhausted today after staying up so late last night. I seriously considered not taking the kids to school so I could sleep in, but I sucked it up and got them there anyway. It was a tough day made tougher by back to back meetings literally ALL DAY LONG with zero breaks. After all that, we decided the hell with dinner and we went out to Picasso’s. It was so yummy, and everyone was in a good mood if only a little tired, and we had a lot of fun. I now want to sleep for two weeks.
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September 3
I stayed up past midnight to finish reading this book. I really liked it, a lot better than the other one I finished. I love the main character so much. Now I need something else to read.
Year in Photos 