I had about six or seven minutes of blissful clarity in little 30-second bursts over the course of the day. There may be hope for me yet!
Author: peanut7312
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January 28
I tried to work today. Made it about three hours before I thought my brain would implode. I’ve already decided to take tomorrow off. There has to be an end to this coming. The exhaustion is overwhelming.
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January 27
If I could take a picture of the inside of my brain, it would be compressed to 2/3 its original size and filled with a combination of cotton balls and spider webs. All the muscles in my body are tied in tight red knots. Opening my eyes takes monumental effort. I am such a wuss. I have been far more sick than this and not complained half as much. I have no choice, though, I have to go back to work tomorrow. We’ll see how that goes. I’m literally leading back to back meetings all eight hours of my day. I’ll just have to give it a shot and if I can’t do it, throw in the towel. At least I’ll have tried.
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January 26
I took the day off from work and hardly ever opened my eyes. I’m being a baby, but I haven’t been sick in years, even just a cold. I’ve forgotten how to deal with it. I may take tomorrow off too. Today was just aches and pains, but I can feel congestion settling in now. So I am phoning this one in, guys. It’s time for (more) sleep.
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January 25
Christina wrapped up her competition and did ok. Not the showing she was hoping for, but she had a great weekend with her friends and had fun dancing. We spent seven hours sitting in our seats to watch three performances and didn’t eat or drink anything during that time. We couldn’t leave our seats because there were about 600 people watching and only about 25 seats (or so it felt). By the time we left, we were all mostly melting. Now we’re home and I’m achy and my throat feels scratchy and I’m sad because I thought I’d evaded Robin’s flu. Apparently I got it by way of Billy. I don’t know what I’m going to do if I’m sick and can’t do this training tomorrow. I’ve literally been working my ass off for a month to prepare. I guess a day or two delay won’t be the end of the world, but it still sucks. We’ll see how I feel tomorrow.
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January 24
We scratched off another card and took a kayaking tour on the river near Rock Springs in Apopka. It was beautiful! The kids were not interested in the least, although Robin did say on the way back that it was peaceful, which I think was positive. Our tour guide, Nigel, was great. I feel like I’ve been paddling enough times at this point that I should be better at steering, but apparently not. I’m glad we had the day free to do it and that the weather was so perfect.
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January 23
We decided on a whim to go to Toothsome Chocolate Factory at Universal City Walk for lunch, and it was pretty good. A little too much sweet for me, but that was my own fault for ordering dessert for breakfast and then dessert after that. Christina’s trio did ok… she felt really good about it, but it didn’t place well. She always manages to stay positive anyway, which I so appreciate about her. Day one in the books!
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January 22
I got as much done at work as I could before hitting the road for Christina’s dance competition. I’m at least mostly ready for the first day of training. There is still so much to do after that. Trying to disengage for the weekend and accept that whatever happens, it’ll still better than the last few classes. Traffic was amazing tonight and we made it in almost an hour less time than usual. I know the ride back will be different, but I love it on these rare occasions when I can make the whole trip without having to crawl. Our room is pretty nice. We all, individually, announced the presence of a truck in the parking lot with the competition logo on it. Clearly our observation skills are good. Listening? Not as much.
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January 21
My brain is overflowing. I have an impossible amount of work to do in less than one workday. All I can do is shrug and shake my head and hope for the best. I had an eye doctor’s appointment today and ordered new sunglasses to replace my battered pair. I finished watching season 1 of “Stranger Things.” I like it even more the second time through. It helps that I’m not missing huge chunks of the story this time. I’m tired. I haven’t been sleeping because I’m so stressed about work. And I’m not coping as well as I normally would because I’m not running. Things are a little topsy turvy. Maybe I’ll get some sleep tonight.
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January 20
We went out to eat again tonight. Robin wanted to go out for Colombian food, and who are we to say no? It was delicious. I got some reading in while Christina was at dance. Right now I’m reading Once A Runner, by John Parker. He writes in my language. Otherwise just trying to stay awake and alert around here!
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January 19
Christina’s at a party, so I decided to visit a new-to-me park nearby. It’s pretty small and I didn’t quite get a full sunset, but it was peaceful and I appreciate that. It’s also a little chilly! But I also appreciate that. I am still bumblefooting my way around parenthood, which is emotional and taxing. For everyone. Today we were supposed to meet Rosina and Dion for dinner, but Rosina wasn’t feeling well, so the four of us went out on our own. Nowhere too special, but there were milkshakes and a game of Poop that embarrassed the – well, poop – out of both of them. I know I’m trying to build trust, but sometimes embarrassing your kids is irresistible. Back to work tomorrow after a three-day weekend that felt more like five minutes than three days. So it goes.
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January 18
Got a lot done today. Cleaned the kitchen, went food shopping, did laundry. Robin asked to go to Michael’s to buy supplies to make phone charms and I spent way too much money on it. I’ll do almost anything to see her smile. I met Lauren and Monica for an early dinner at Pecan Craft Kitchen, which is a new farm to table restaurant that was pretty good. We complained about our kids and husbands (and ex-husbands) and ate dessert out of tiny mason jars. And then I came home and knitted obsessively for hours. The blanket is coming along – about five more feet to go! At this rate it will be done by the summer solstice. Maybe. Also it’s cold. It barely rose above 50 today and rained most of the day. I am not complaining – it’s just so rare that it gets this cold here. Having the heat kick on before we go to bed is weird. I kinda like it, honestly.
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January 17
I spent several hours getting my website caught up this morning. It’ll be out of date again by tomorrow. Oh well! Christina, Billy and I played Five Crowns and I beat their asses bad. I only scored six points the whole game. Go me. Then Christina had dance, we had dinner, and I freaked out about parenting teenagers. A typical Saturday.
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January 16
It was another crazy day at work. So many meetings and so little accomplished when there is so much to do. I had to settle for yet another unfinished task when I left for dance. When we got home, we ate dinner in front of the TV, watching Penn State wrestling. You always know who is going to win, but somehow it’s entertaining anyway. By the time that was over, I was exhausted. I simply cannot keep up.
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January 15
I have been absolutely exhausted. Every time I start doing one thing, I get pulled into something else. Everything feels unfinished and chaotic. So when the kids started fighting about Kraft mac and cheese while I was trying to finish two other things at work, I kind of gave up on life. I tried so hard to solve the problem, but Robin wouldn’t talk to me except to say, “I don’t care” and Christina wouldn’t listen to me without interrupting me to say, “OK!” So by the time I got to dance, I was done. I was so done that I turned to the only person I could think of: ChatGPT. It recommended dinner out at Carrabba’s, and don’t you know, it was a good decision. It wasn’t perfect, but I did leave a little happier, if only utterly exhausted. What a day. I’m ready for bed.
Year in Photos 