Christina had day one of a dance competition today. She did ok. Her junior team dance won third place out of five, but her intermediate team dance didn’t even place. Billy and I were really surprised because the dance looked great to me. I didn’t see any obvious issues with it that should have kept them from even an honorable mention. Christina said she knew it wasn’t a good performance, so I guess that makes it a little better. It would be worse if she thought she nailed it and still didn’t place. We went out for dinner at the Local, which was a new place to us. I went once for brunch with a friend from church, but not for dinner. It seemed pretty good – nice to try something different. Christina has another performance tomorrow, which will be a very long day. They perform at 12:30, so we have to be there at 10:30, and awards are not until 4:30. Today’s awards session was almost an hour long, which makes Christina’s lack of placing even worse, because when they give out so many awards that it takes an hour to do it and you STILL don’t win anything… just damn. I hope tomorrow is better.
Author: peanut7312
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February 27
Today just felt so long. I had more than five straight hours of meetings, which is just exhausting. But Robin made tacos, and I love it when Robin makes tacos. And our little boy Pinot got a haircut, so now Christina can leave me alone for a few weeks. TGIF.
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February 26
Today was a day for AI. I have a GPT at work named Fred who helped me write my goals, write up a control for my training program, and even talked me down when I was feeling like my class was getting away from me. I was very resistant to the idea of relying on AI to do work I’m already good at, but it really is helping me take things to another level. It thinks of things that I’m already thinking, but gives that thinking a little extra flesh. I know there’s a ton of controversy around AI, but I’ve found it to be a powerful tool if you don’t rely on it to do the work for you. And my pal Fred appreciates my sarcasm, and for that alone I’ll keep him.
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February 25
Robin had a dentist appointment today to get cavities filled. They decided to only do two of the four to try to limit her discomfort since she always gets sores after a filling. So now we have to go back again in a week to do the other two. They tried using a different anesthetic this time, and it does seem a little better, but she still has a big old sore on her lip. Maybe this will inspire her to brush her teeth, though. So far I have not seen that happen, but I still remind her every night. That also annoys the fuck out of her, which doesn’t bother me so much because spending $250 every six months for fillings is also annoying. The dogs, however, could care less as long as I give them potatoes to eat before bed.
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February 24
I went back to therapy today after almost two years without it. I need to get a better handle on myself when it comes to parenting, and really, relationships in general. Being so wrapped up in Robin’s moods has really taken a toll on me and I’m starting to lose some of the ground I gained over the last year or so. I think I have my work cut out for me.
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February 23
I am getting closer to having the rest of this training class prepared. I have 9 out of 20 samples pulled for training, and three of them have answer keys. I feel a little like I’m running on the beach at high tide, working very hard and not getting too far. I feel about the same when it comes to parenting. I can’t get Robin to brush her teeth or not drink Coke at bedtime without her hating my guts. And I know you’re doing the right thing if your teenager hates your guts, but it still doesn’t feel great when the people you love more than anything on earth can’t stand to be near you or ever say I love you. I really question whether I’m doing the right thing, basically every minute of every day and it is exhausting. And I’m still not running, at high tide or otherwise. That is also bringing me down. I have seen no progress at all as far as the piriformis strain, so I’m at a point where I may just run even though it hurts. Maybe I need to break it more for it to finally heal. That may be about as wise as asking Robin where her toothbrush is. I’m tired.
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February 22
I took the kids back to Leaderboard to make up for leaving early on Friday, but holy shit, it was so crowded we could barely walk in the door. We decided not to stay, but of course this ruined Robin’s day. So instead I took her to buy a desk and chair for her now clean bedroom and we spent the afternoon assembling them. I’m not sure we did it right because the drawer doesn’t work very well. I can’t figure out how to fix it. Hopefully she can make do. Then we went out to Carmine’s Pie House for dinner, also at Robin’s request. I really hate how my moods get caught up in hers, but she was so moody and disrespectful, it really kind of ruined it for me. I crave those moments when she smiles. There aren’t enough of them. Things were going pretty well except for two moments – one when we told her volleyball was starting up and the Y and she said she didn’t want to do it, and the other when she asked for red velvet cake and Billy said no because she hadn’t finished her meal. The ups and downs of her moods are exhausting. If I feel this way, I imagine it must be horrible for her too. I wish I could make it better, and it’s so hard for me to accept that I can’t. I need to find a way to let it be.
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February 21
Now that Robin and I are talking again, we tackled the massive challenge of cleaning her room. Holy fucking shit. It was absolutely nauseating. There was something soaking wet in her hamper that had been sitting there god knows how long because the floor is now completely rotted where she had it. I am sure it was at least partly, if not mostly, urine. There were 83 soda bottles in there. Used menstrual pads. Used band aids. It was fucking DISGUSTING. I need to take two showers now. It took us four hours and 12 garbage bags to get it cleaned up, but it is now beautiful. We’ll see how long it lasts. I’m not sure it’ll make it until morning.
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February 20
It was a bit of a rough day. It started out really well. Billy and I went to see the girls’ Oratorical Festival performances at school, and then we went to Leaderboard for lunch and some arcade games. It went downhill from there. Christina started complaining about just about everything. She just didn’t want to be there. So we left early, which ruined Robin’s day. And then it went even more downhill because Robin’s nails were falling off and her nail glue bottle broke so she couldn’t replace them. She wouldn’t talk to anyone except to say something snotty. I took her out for ice cream in the hopes that it would cheer her up, but she sat there hating life the whole time we were there, being rude to everyone around her. I was furious. I didn’t want anything to do with her. I didn’t know about her nails because she wouldn’t tell me anything except to say nothing was wrong. Even though I walked into her bedroom to find her sobbing. It made me insane. She tore things off her walls and threw them all over her room. Finally she calmed down and came out to the living room and managed to tell me about her nails. All of that over nail glue. That we could have bought had I known she needed it while we were out. All I can say is, parenting is not for the weak.
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February 19
Billy and I had a little date night. I was not in top form. For some reason I hit a wall around 4:00 and the ground just fell out from under me. I am absolutely exhausted. I think it may have something to do with the fact that I have not been sleeping well for most of the week. It’s probably catching up with me. But it was still nice to have some alone time with him.
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February 18
I saw a bumper sticker today that said, “Condoms prevent minivans.” It was on a minivan. Kind of made my day. Also this little tiny rainbow at the gas station. Lowlights included this morning’s dentist appointment, where Robin learned she has five cavities and seven others developing. If this doesn’t inspire her to start brushing her teeth, I have no hope.
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February 17
Billy broke out this puzzle the other day, which was a Christmas gift from 2024 that apparently got eaten by the game closet. It’s a fun one, definitely unique. I was happy to get back to the gym today after two weeks of work insanity. It felt like much longer than two weeks. Nice to be approaching a normal trajectory again.
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February 16
Robin asked to go to a rage room, and who am I to say no? There is some kind of satisfaction that comes from smashing things. And we smashed things. Printers, mirrors, lamps, radios, dishes. We used crowbars and wrenches and sledgehammers. Christina refused to participate and stood in the back the whole time, but the rest of us worked up a real sweat destroying things. Good suggestion, Robin.
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February 15
Jackson very rudely woke me up at 7:30 this morning on one of my precious days to sleep in, which left me angry and slightly depressed. So I took the kids to the beach. It was far from beach weather, so we just went for a walk, but it felt so good to be near the ocean. Winds were gusting to 30mph and it was chilly, but that meant there was more beach for us. There was hardly anyone else there. I’m so glad I followed that whim.
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February 14
It was a nice Valentine’s Day. Robin and I made some witty Valentine’s Day cards and left them on cars at the Publix parking lot. Hopefully people found them more endearing than annoying. Christina and I made heart-shaped raspberry jam thumbprint cookies. We splurged and had filet mignon with bearnaise sauce for dinner on a nice fancy table. Billy even had a glass of wine. Billy and I got the kids a little something and we got each other a little something, and now I have some chocolate to keep away from Pinot. I never much liked Valentine’s Day, but it’s a lot more fun with people around to enjoy it with. I am a very lucky person.
Year in Photos 