February 22

I took the kids back to Leaderboard to make up for leaving early on Friday, but holy shit, it was so crowded we could barely walk in the door. We decided not to stay, but of course this ruined Robin’s day. So instead I took her to buy a desk and chair for her now clean bedroom and we spent the afternoon assembling them. I’m not sure we did it right because the drawer doesn’t work very well. I can’t figure out how to fix it. Hopefully she can make do. Then we went out to Carmine’s Pie House for dinner, also at Robin’s request. I really hate how my moods get caught up in hers, but she was so moody and disrespectful, it really kind of ruined it for me. I crave those moments when she smiles. There aren’t enough of them. Things were going pretty well except for two moments – one when we told her volleyball was starting up and the Y and she said she didn’t want to do it, and the other when she asked for red velvet cake and Billy said no because she hadn’t finished her meal. The ups and downs of her moods are exhausting. If I feel this way, I imagine it must be horrible for her too. I wish I could make it better, and it’s so hard for me to accept that I can’t. I need to find a way to let it be.