I took the kids back to Leaderboard to make up for leaving early on Friday, but holy shit, it was so crowded we could barely walk in the door. We decided not to stay, but of course this ruined Robin’s day. So instead I took her to buy a desk and chair for her now clean bedroom and we spent the afternoon assembling them. I’m not sure we did it right because the drawer doesn’t work very well. I can’t figure out how to fix it. Hopefully she can make do. Then we went out to Carmine’s Pie House for dinner, also at Robin’s request. I really hate how my moods get caught up in hers, but she was so moody and disrespectful, it really kind of ruined it for me. I crave those moments when she smiles. There aren’t enough of them. Things were going pretty well except for two moments – one when we told her volleyball was starting up and the Y and she said she didn’t want to do it, and the other when she asked for red velvet cake and Billy said no because she hadn’t finished her meal. The ups and downs of her moods are exhausting. If I feel this way, I imagine it must be horrible for her too. I wish I could make it better, and it’s so hard for me to accept that I can’t. I need to find a way to let it be.
Tag: rose
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November 12
I’m always so happy when Robin’s red rose blooms. Which is twice so far. She picked it out this spring and it makes me happy to see it. I hope it survives the winter.
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November 5
Got a squeaky clean bill of health at this morning’s annual checkup. Sadly the news didn’t come with a reduction in medications, but I guess it’s good to know they’re doing what they’re supposed to. When I was checking in, I had to fill out a psychiatric evaluation and I think it’s the first time in my life that I answered “not at all” to all of the questions. It’s still weird, but I guess I’ll take it!
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September 15
I am reading Beloved, which I’ve never read before, and it’s beautiful. So painful but so beautifully told. We all still have so much to learn.
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September 8
Today involved a lot of work stupidity and a few moments of insightfulness. It rained, which felt nice. Other than that, nothing much of note.
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August 8
I was exhausted all day. Back to back meetings from the moment I logged on at work didn’t help. The kids had their school orientation in the morning and got to meet their teachers. Hard to believe this is Robin’s last year here. Christina went to get her hair cut after work, and ended up getting it colored back to her natural color (or at least close). She’s a lot happier with it now. I need to sleep for about two days.
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August 1
Today’s lesson at work was: Don’t try to do it all. I guess I needed to hear that. For the first time in a month, I feel a little hopeful. Also: This rose is blooming, and I thought it had died. So I guess my rose is on the same page as me.
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July 5
We made it back to Jacksonville with almost no traffic – very easy drive home. It feels so good to have the entire afternoon free. I’m already unpacked and ready for bed.
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June 13
Robin’s beach volleyball camp is over. I forced her to do a tumbling evaluation at a new gym even though she said she didn’t want to. Christina had acro tonight and is THIS CLOSE to a back walkover. We learned that frozen broccoli doesn’t do well in a blender. We suspect Pinot may have eaten a bag of sour patch candies, but we can’t find the evidence. And so goes Friday.
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April 30
Robin had her Cobalt sendoff for Summit tonight. Expectations for this team are so low that when they hit their routine, everyone was over the moon excited. Robin even came home saying it made her want to do cheer again. We left excited for this weekend, and I’m glad.
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April 28
One of my new roses is blooming. The blossom doesn’t look as healthy as I was hoping it’d be, but maybe it just needs to establish itself a bit more first. The garden on the whole is doing pretty well. The plants are starting to fill in a little, and it looks more flush. Even the desert rose, which I thought for sure was a goner after last winter, is growing new leaves. I’m enjoying the garden this year.
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April 9
I finally had a minute to catch my breath today. Which isn’t to say it was an easy day, just that I had some time in between the madness to catch up on photos, look at my garden, look up some things on the internet that have been bugging me, work on the jigsaw puzzle… It was nice, but now I’m tired. I stay up too late, trying to get some time to myself. It never feels like enough.
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March 23
This weekend was incredibly productive. Billy and I hung my dad’s painting, I went food shopping, Billy cleaned out the garage, I did laundry, I updated my website for the first time in a month, Christina finally finished putting together her book for publishing, a gift we gave her for her TENTH birthday well over a year ago, I cooked dinner for the first time in more than a week (it was delicious), and we played Trivial Pursuit. I signed up for two more races, but they are on weekends with dance competitions, so I may not be able to make it. We’ll see! Back to the usual grind tomorrow. Not excited about it.
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February 19
Robin took a tumbling class tonight and added her name to the wall for two more level two skills: back walkover back handspring and roundoff back handspring. She did them all night long and came home happy. I’m so proud of her, and grateful to the coach who quietly and patiently showed her over the course of almost a year that she actually could do it. Now she knows it too.
Year in Photos 