I took some time to call people I haven’t spoken to in a while. I spent an awful lot of time talking about myself. All I have to say is people were very patient with me, and not bad at sounding interested.
Tag: caitlin
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November 8
I hate this photo. I don’t even want to post it. But this is what I got. I am definitely in a mindset of, screw it, I don’t care. I just want to sleep.
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November 5
Today was Daylight Savings, church and the silent auction, lunch at the Loop with the girls, Lowe’s and Michaels with Billy and Christina, working on the advent calendar (it’s coming along), pork loin and homemade applesauce, driving home from cheer, and trying to stay awake until a respectable hour. I’m almost there.
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October 19
I jumped off a bridge today and I’m still falling. I don’t know where I’ll hit ground. I can’t complain. It’s not like anyone pushed me. So much for regret.
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September 24
Today was my last NAMI class for this year. I’m so glad I get to do this. It’s as good for me as it is for the people taking the class. But it will be nice to have my Sunday afternoons free again.
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September 6
My new phone finally arrived and this is the dumb photo I managed to take with it. It took me hours and hours to set everything up and I just never had a chance to properly play. Still, I like that you can use the portrait mode on selfies now. I’ll have to play around with it some more.
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September 3
Another 11:55pm shot just to get one in. It was a busy day. Church, then I broke our one-year-old dishwasher. That kind of ruined my day, and then there was my NAMI class, driving Robin to her friend’s house, and a 7:30pm dinner. Almost no time to breathe. So this is the shot we got.
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August 20
I am going long days without doing things I should be doing for myself. I need to try to remember that two hours is enough time to go and look at water or to sit under a tree, even if it is 100 degrees outside. Even 15 minutes is worth it. I need to try harder. It’s important.
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August 19
We had planned on going to the pool this morning, but Robin’s body had other plans, so she asked to go roller skating instead. We were told she couldn’t skate along the wall and that slower skaters had to go in the middle of the floor. She was terrified and stood at the edge of the rink for almost 20 minutes in tears before she finally gathered the courage to give it a try. And she fucking did it. And the thing that melted my heart most of all is that her sister sat and waited with her without a single judging word until Robin was ready and then she held her hand while Robin made her way around the inner circle. They actually do love each other. I’m so proud of both of them.
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August 12
Robin’s friend came over for a sleepover, so I felt it was good to spend some extra time with Christina. We went out for ice cream and played table-top curling. That’s right, table-top curling. I spend so much time with Robin because she really needs the extra support, but I need to be better about spending time with Christina too. I think a Christina date is in order soon.
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August 11
I need to find more time for myself to do things I enjoy. It has been so hot, though. I really can’t go out hiking. So I have been very listless. I have so much on my mind and I’m starting to avoid it and just block it out. Not sure that is the right approach. I think I’m blocking out everything.
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August 7
I got a lot of work done today. I don’t say that too often. I also took a tiny little step forward today on something I’ve been thinking about for a very long time. It’s a step so tiny you almost can’t even see it, but it’s a step nonetheless. Now I will probably lie awake for the next three hours ruminating over it while I try to sleep.
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August 1
Drove home today and I am relieved to be back. It was a very difficult trip for me. I don’t think the kids will ever want to go hiking with me again. I killed them with mountains and heat and humidity and bugs and also mountains. I also really struggled to keep myself grounded. I spent the whole trip trying to make it special for everyone else, which only made me miserable because everyone else seemed to be miserable… which was obviously my fault since I am the resident orchestrator of happiness. I’m just glad it’s over and now I have to go back to the grind and hopefully find a way to bring back some joy for myself, if no one else.
Year in Photos 