I hit a stressful part of the day and burned out early today. I am completely wiped. Robin had tumbling tonight and she was the only one in the class, so she got a little private coaching. She did some back tucks, which she adamantly did not want to do a month ago, and finished the class excited about it. I went for a run this morning. Rebuilding fitness is tedious and boring, but I’m still glad to be doing it. I wasn’t glad about it at 6:45am, though.
Tag: art
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May 25
We cracked open the Florida adventures cards I got for Mother’s Day and had our first adventure at a splatter room in Gainesville. I still think we came out looking way too clean, but it is thoroughly satisfying to throw paint around a room for an hour. I will not say we left with works of art, but we did leave in a good mood.
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April 16
It is so annoying dealing with the pharmacy. I’m going on three days without a medication after being told for days, “It’ll be ready by 11.” I can barely function right now. I’m glad this medication works, but it is ALWAYS a pain in the ass to refill. I go through this every month and I’m getting tired of it. And also just tired.
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March 24
Among the many things we did over the weekend, we finally hung my dad’s painting. This was always my favorite and I’m so thankful to have it now.
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March 11
I started teaching another NAMI Peer to Peer class tonight. I teach this one less often than Family to Family – this is actually only my second time doing it. For some reason, only two people showed up. But it was two people who were engaged in the class, so it was good. It feels a little weird teaching the class as a peer because I haven’t felt depressed in months. Happiness is so unfamiliar to me, and sometimes I even find myself wondering if I was ever really depressed or if it was just a lie I told myself for 40+ years. It makes me think I might not be the best person to teach this course. But I’m going to give it a go!
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September 8
I finally got to use the gift certificate Rosina gave me for my birthday. We did some paint pouring! Robin and Christina were less than thrilled about going, but there’s something about splashing paint around that lifts one’s spirits. They’ll never admit it, but they had fun.
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May 14
Christina’s been working on creating a board game in math and she went the extra mile to make these custom game pieces for it. All their little eyeballs fell off in her lunchbox, so Mommy got a chance to use her glue gun tonight. And now I can say I had my part in her success.
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May 3
I finished knitting my bunny. Now to stuff it and make its clothes. We’ve also been eating dinners outside, which makes me so happy. I can see flowers and grass, which was exactly my dream when I lived in the city. And we even had time for Billy to kick everyone’s ass at Ticket to Ride. All in all not a bad day.
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April 14
I think I had a pretty good parenting day today. The phone situation with Robin is getting to a boiling point because she has retreated so far into it that she won’t go out with friends or even come out of her room, where she closes her blackout blinds and literally lives in darkness. I won’t tolerate it and I won’t give extra time for any reason, which made her extremely angry. She sulked through food shopping without a word, even when asked direct questions. Finally I compromised and told her she could have the time on two conditions: She could only use it to find drawings to copy, and she had to draw outside, with me, in sunlight. She actually agreed and even smiled. She perked up almost immediately. And then we made pretzel animals, which she also loved and came out of her room for. Those were Christina’s favorite parts of the day, and mine too. I keep hearing in my head that no matter how hard it gets, I have to stick to my guns with the phone limits and working Robin out of her personal cavern. I feel like her life depends on it. And it IS hard. I just want to see her smile. Limiting phone time and pushing her out of her comfort zone doesn’t do that. But I think it will do it in the (maybe very) long term. Anyway, I’m glad we had a good day.
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January 31
Billy and I had a long, complicated conversation the other day about who was going to take Christina to dance on Wednesdays now that he’s not coaching in the afternoons. In the end everything stayed the same. Turns out that even though it’s inconvenient, I really like the 45 minutes I get to spend with Christina eating pizza in between classes. We don’t always talk about much, and sometimes we end up on devices, but it’s special time just for us and I didn’t want to give it up. And then after dinner, I get one on one time with Billy at home before he has to go pick her up. So it’s kind of a win-win.
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January 22
I did not do a good job of balancing things today. I ate almost entire box of chocolate chip cookies (I left three), a donut, three helpings of pasta, and a bunch of pizza rolls, all after 3pm. I used all my free time to do crossword puzzles, to the point that there are only three left in my book of 100. (Granted I did not do 97 in one day, but I’ve only been working through the book for three days.) We got a letter from the bank and our mortgage is almost doubling, thanks to our homeowners insurance being blocked out of the state and the new one costing three times more. Taking a picture to remember this day just seems so stupid. But I guess it’s a good enough starting point for something different. Again.
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January 12
This is a self portrait I made in middle school. A clock for my punctuality, a smile because, well, I smiled a lot (extra super hyper is really more accurate), a pencil because I like to write, a light bulb for intelligence, and a peanut because… I’m a nut. Not much changes after you turn 14. You just have more bills.
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December 27
Christina got a clay kit for Christmas and this is her first creation. We guessed it was a robin, but not surprised it isn’t. I particularly like the worm, which was a late addition.
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November 29
I’ve been doing more writing, trying to pursue a dream I’ve been neglecting, and it’s taking me into my parents’ childhood. I know so little about them, really, and I am making a lot of it up based on the little shreds of details I do know. It’s a strange feeling, constructing a life that you know was real, but knowing your construction really isn’t. Whatever happens after we die, I hope my parents understand my exploration and where it takes me, even if I deviate entirely from the truth. I’m hoping there’s enough there that’s right to do them justice.
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November 18
Robin keeps going through these drawing spurts and I am trying to take advantage of as many of them as I can. We went to Bob Evans for breakfast while Christina was at dance and we did some drawing. There are some proportions off in this one, but it’s one of the few drawings I’ve done of Robin where you might actually be able to tell it’s Robin. My interests are all over the place, but if Robin and I can draw together, that might actually turn out to be pretty cool. We’ll see. Teenagers are not known for consistency.
Year in Photos 