It hit me around 8:30 – a wave of inexplicable sadness. It took me a while to remember that Mom died 12 years ago today. I think it hurts more now than it did then – not the same raging, overwhelming depression I felt then, but a steadily growing lump of guilt and regret that is so overwhelming that my only option is to ignore it. It’s surprising to see how much energy ignorance costs.
Author: peanut7312
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August 2
I slowed down a lot today and really worked on keeping everything level. I tried to fix the problem spots, but they are still not level, so I’ll have to try again next weekend. They’re definitely better, at least. I need to get that one edge set because the rain washed out the sand and now it’s dipping again. I wish I could have gone longer, but Christina had dance and of course it rained. At least the new part held up in the rain – no pooling there. It’s looking pretty good.
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August 1
It feels so good to finally have some pavers down! I’m really excited to be so close to being done. There are some spots I need to fix that aren’t level, like the edge where I didn’t think I needed gravel. Oops. Looks like my gravel days aren’t behind me. There’s a big surprise. Luckily I have some left over.
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July 31
Robin was bored, so she made these enormous, head-sized peanut butter cookies filled with buttercream frosting. I love that she spent time doing something to entertain herself besides sitting alone in her room on her phone. The cookies taste good, but they are a lot. They look pretty impressive.
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July 30
We went to Robin’s freshman orientation today. I MIGHT have cried when it started. How can I be old enough to have a kid in high school? I feel like I just graduated myself. Robin signed up for color guard, which makes me so happy. I remember loving color guard in high school. We were terrible and there was all sorts of pointless drama and we had so much fun. She also signed up for beach volleyball, which will start in the spring. The school is enormous and every single hallway looks identical. They are identified by letters, but for some reason they are labeled with numbers. That would make me insane. I’m really excited for Robin. I think she’s excited too. We’ll see how long that lasts after the school year starts.
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July 29
Christina had friends from dance performing as mascots in tonight’s Jumbo Shrimp game, so we got some tickets to go watch. Unfortunately, this was the weather situation. After about an hour, they called the game. We still got our stadium food, at least. You’d think I’d be annoyed about wasting a night sitting at a baseball game in the rain with no baseball, but I kind of had fun. I love being at the ballfield, game or no game. It makes me happy. It helps that we were dry.
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July 28
I FINALLY finished building the foundation for the patio today. After more than three months, it feels overwhelmingly awesome to finally have this done. I have a lot of gravel left over, but that is still better than not having enough. I got it up to the height I needed and it looks pretty good. I’m very, very proud of it. I can’t wait to see some pavers down, maybe this weekend. We are coming down the home stretch!
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July 27
I got a nice birthday present and the gravel delivery arrived before 7am so I could get it moved before starting work tomorrow. Saved myself two hours. I used the rest of the day to knit and read, and then we went to Cooper’s Hawk for dinner. We didn’t love it – the food was excellent, but we didn’t enjoy the atmosphere. It was loud and not very intimate or cozy. I got a very good martini, though, and toasted Mom with the rest of the family. Nice birthday.
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July 26
I realized about a third of the way in today that I still don’t have enough gravel to finish the patio foundation. I just about lost the will to continue. Then I thought I’d just continue until it was done no matter what it took. In the end I ordered another 85 bags of gravel, which are coming tomorrow. I think I only need 50, but after this purchase, the patio is just going to be at whatever height it is. I’d rather have 30 extra bags of gravel than not enough. I’m so over this! Went out to dinner with Lauren and Monica at a nice Italian restaurant in St. Augustine. That was nice.
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July 25
I finished sewing the National Parks tapestry. I’m not thrilled with it. A lot of puckering, several holes where the seams just didn’t happen. But it could definitely have come out worse. I think I’m going to stitch a pattern into it to try to hide some of the flaws. We’ll see if that makes it better or worse!
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July 24
I pulled out my knitting the other day. Haven’t worked on this in a while. Still a very long to go on this one. We ordered in pizza from Renna’s tonight and it was delicious, as always. I feel like I worked very hard today and have very little to show for it. I don’t really like days like that. At least it’s Friday.
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July 23
Lately the inspiration isn’t there. So we have pictures of dirty pots. We called Aunt Cathrine for her birthday. It was nice catching up with her. Sounds like she’s doing well. The day was otherwise uneventful; went for a run, went to work, made dinner (stuffed pork chops and rice).
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July 22
The kids had their annual physicals today. Christina managed to escape her shot, but Robin was not so lucky. Christina had been so nervous about it that her blood pressure was 146/78. It went down to 126/71 after she found out she was good. They are doing ok, but if Christina was that scared about a shot, I hate to think how she is going to handle having blood drawn tomorrow.
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July 21
Took the car in for service today, learned I had a nail in my tire, walked out with a patch instead of a new tire, and called it a good day. Watched Hoosiers again with Billy. Still a good movie.
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July 20
Busy day with cleaners coming, AC maintenance, and work. We played Mount Cleverest after dinner, which was fun. Even Robin played without any pleading necessary. We haven’t had a game night in a while. The kids need something to do. They are so bored.
