Thursdays are the new bane of my existence. 4:45 – drop Christina off at dance. 6:00 – drop Robin off at cheer. 6:15 – pick up Christina from dance. 7:00 – pick up Robin from cheer. Cheer and dance are 20-25 minutes away from each other, depending on traffic, especially at that time of day. I’m pretty sure most people would not agree to this, but until now it hasn’t been a problem because Billy has been able to help out. But now he has clients from 5:30-6:30 on Thursdays and we’re on our own. I got home from cheer at 7:20 and then at 8:00, after a quick dinner, I had a Zoom meeting with my co-facilitator for the NAMI class I’m teaching. When all was said and done, it was 8:30pm. By the time I was done with my shower, it was 9:00. I keep telling myself that the schedule will ease when Christina’s dance season ends at the end of May. I don’t know how this keeps happening. Eventually I will simply be too old. I think 45 is already too old. I’d like to hope the kids will appreciate it someday, but probably not for a long, long time, if ever. Despite it all, it feels worth it to me. I like watching them grow. It’ll even out eventually.
Author: peanut7312
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April 9
I finally had a minute to catch my breath today. Which isn’t to say it was an easy day, just that I had some time in between the madness to catch up on photos, look at my garden, look up some things on the internet that have been bugging me, work on the jigsaw puzzle… It was nice, but now I’m tired. I stay up too late, trying to get some time to myself. It never feels like enough.
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April 8
Tonight was NAMI class, and we had a pretty good class. Everyone showed up and participated, which always helps. I am grateful to have the opportunity to teach these classes, but giving up my only free night of the week is a hefty sacrifice. Still, I made a point to spend 30 minutes with my headphones on after everyone went to bed, doing nothing but listening to music. No crossword or jigsaw puzzles, no browsing on my phone, just me and my music. I forgot how wonderful that is, and all the incredible imagery I enjoy. It was inspiring. I want to try to do this at least three times a week, just to disconnect from everything else swirling around me. I barely know what’s going on anymore, and I don’t have the time to care. Couple more weeks and things should settle a bit.
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April 7
Robin’s cheer practice was cancelled tonight due to too many people out. Robin and I were both pretty happy to have the time back. I worked on a jigsaw puzzle and cooked dinner, and she did whatever she does in her room all day long. We even got to eat together as a family, which never happens on a Monday. Even Robin ate it, and she wouldn’t even touch the salmon burgers I made the other day because they had shallots in them. WTF. At least I got a decent lunch out of it.
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April 6
Robin had a marathon cheer practice today for 4+ hours, so Christina and I used the time to do some shopping. She bought herself some Judy Blume books and a Snoopy shirt at the mall, and I couldn’t resist buying myself a book, even though I’ve been reading Wicked for four months now and I’m still not done. Time just isn’t my friend. But, instead of reading Wicked today, I finished knitting a sweater that’s been sitting in a bag for more than a year. It was a challenging pattern, mostly because I had trouble understanding it. I was pleasantly surprised that I ended up with something that very clearly resembles a sweater that even fits me. I have to do the finishing (weaving in threads, blocking), but then it will finally be done. Just in time for summer. Today it was 91 degrees outside.
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April 5
Got a lot done today. Like, a lot. Did dishes, did laundry, went food shopping, baked cookies, spent three hours cleaning Christina’s room, watched basketball, and spent 45 minutes with Robin by the fire pit until the propane ran out. Weekends are not long enough.
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April 4
Christina and I got to have dinner together in front of the TV, watching Jungle Cruise. It was another day of endless driving to activities for people other than me, but these little moments, even when we don’t talk to each other, mean so much to me. It makes it worth it.
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April 3
It was nice to be home for a family dinner tonight. We got to hear how the girls saw a duck get hit by a car on the way home from school and learned the entire history of pizza, which Christina learned from her writing test today. You can never go wrong with dead ducks and pizza.
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April 2
I was furious tonight when I came home from cheer and saw that no one had left any dinner for me or Robin. Billy and Christina ate last night’s leftovers and left us two halves of a chicken breast with no sides. So I used our nacho meat to make spaghetti and meat sauce… which we didn’t get to eat until 9:45pm. He said he was going to make mussels… no idea what happened to that plan. He was already in bed when we got home, so I couldn’t kill him. Tomorrow.
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April 1
Today was a long, rough day. I had a pretty nasty headache and left work early, but still had to teach the NAMI course tonight. Headache’s gone but now it’s somehow 11pm and I feel like I’ve done very little for myself all day. I did read a little, and did a crossword puzzle. Everything feels chaotic right now. Literally everything. But I said no twice today and that is a big step for me.
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March 31
I think the word for April will be “survival.” Christina is taking ten dance classes, Robin is on two cheer teams plus tumbling with two competitions coming up on the same weekend, I am teaching a NAMI class, and Billy just took on five new clients, all meeting after school when all the driving happens. Add in some extras like plumbing and car repairs, and you have the most excellent recipe for an epic tornado. Let’s get on with it, then.
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March 30
Talk about a lesson in patience. We finished four bracelets, but actually made 11. There were tears. And somehow we keep going back for more.
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March 29
Every year I attempt to make this garden beautiful. I know I’ll never make it look as nice as my dad would, but I at least try to make it presentable without letting anything die. I know the pentas does ok, and heather has done well before, the roses seem to hold up… so I’m hoping we do ok. Impatiens are new this year, but I think they’ve done ok too in the past. Keeping my fingers crossed.
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March 28
I’m hanging in in the March Madness bracket, still holding on to first place. I want to stay up all night and watch all the games, but let’s face it. I can only have so much fun in one day.
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March 27
I am at a point where I cannot take on one more thing. I hate admitting that I can’t do it all and there isn’t anything I DON’T want to do, which makes it hard to adjust the load. This is not a new story. One of these days I’ll learn the lesson. Won’t be today.
