I saw a bumper sticker today that said, “Condoms prevent minivans.” It was on a minivan. Kind of made my day. Also this little tiny rainbow at the gas station. Lowlights included this morning’s dentist appointment, where Robin learned she has five cavities and seven others developing. If this doesn’t inspire her to start brushing her teeth, I have no hope.
Author: peanut7312
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February 17
Billy broke out this puzzle the other day, which was a Christmas gift from 2024 that apparently got eaten by the game closet. It’s a fun one, definitely unique. I was happy to get back to the gym today after two weeks of work insanity. It felt like much longer than two weeks. Nice to be approaching a normal trajectory again.
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February 16
Robin asked to go to a rage room, and who am I to say no? There is some kind of satisfaction that comes from smashing things. And we smashed things. Printers, mirrors, lamps, radios, dishes. We used crowbars and wrenches and sledgehammers. Christina refused to participate and stood in the back the whole time, but the rest of us worked up a real sweat destroying things. Good suggestion, Robin.
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February 15
Jackson very rudely woke me up at 7:30 this morning on one of my precious days to sleep in, which left me angry and slightly depressed. So I took the kids to the beach. It was far from beach weather, so we just went for a walk, but it felt so good to be near the ocean. Winds were gusting to 30mph and it was chilly, but that meant there was more beach for us. There was hardly anyone else there. I’m so glad I followed that whim.
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February 14
It was a nice Valentine’s Day. Robin and I made some witty Valentine’s Day cards and left them on cars at the Publix parking lot. Hopefully people found them more endearing than annoying. Christina and I made heart-shaped raspberry jam thumbprint cookies. We splurged and had filet mignon with bearnaise sauce for dinner on a nice fancy table. Billy even had a glass of wine. Billy and I got the kids a little something and we got each other a little something, and now I have some chocolate to keep away from Pinot. I never much liked Valentine’s Day, but it’s a lot more fun with people around to enjoy it with. I am a very lucky person.
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February 13
Robin may look a lot like Billy, but she feels a lot like me. I wish we could lift it out of her and set her free, but I know all too well that we can’t. This is her journey and all we can do is walk with her on it. I have loved and lost my mom, my family loved and almost lost me, and the thought of loving and losing Robin is unbearable. Desperation only adds fuel to the fire, so that burden is mine to deal with. In the meantime, I hope that just being beside her is enough.
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February 12
Had a pretty decent day at work. It feels like work is taking over my life. Even though I log off on time, it’s all I think about. I feel very invested in it. I hope I can turn the program around the way I promised I would.
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February 11
This dog. He pants and nudges and begs to be let out and then we open the door and he does this. He sticks his head out the door and sniffs for like 5 or 10 minutes and then comes back inside. Why are dogs so weird? It was otherwise a decent day. I feel like my class at work is falling behind a little, or maybe I overloaded the schedule. I don’t think we are going to finish the first phase of training by Friday as planned. But on the flip side, I’ve made some changes to the curriculum materials that are vast improvements, so at least now what I’m teaching them is accurate. Better to be late and get it right than finish early and get it wrong. I still have SO many things to do before next week. This whole class I’ve been behind the 8 ball, just trying to keep up, and it’s led to some mistakes. I’m working through them, but I hate feeling this disorganized. It’s not a good look for a teacher. But it’s my first class, it’s still better than the last few classes (by a lot), so I’m trying to take deep breaths and give myself grace. The true test is seeing how they do when they graduate. Still many weeks to go before then, so there are many opportunities to get it more right. Sempre avanti – always moving forward.
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February 10
I don’t have much to say about today. I worked, I ate dinner, I took Christina to dance, I watched the Olympics. Nothing really exciting happened during any of those activities. I guess some days are like that.
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February 9
Went out to dinner tonight with Cindy and Molly. It’s always good to see them. Pinot was on fire today. He ate half my chocolate bar, which I’d been saving to eat last out of three bars I was given because it was my favorite flavor. Then he escaped the yard and had to be captured and returned by our neighbor, twice (he is now filthy from digging under the fence). And then he dumped a huge load of crap in the kids’ bathroom. It’s the Pinot trifecta. I seriously don’t know where we went wrong with him. Otherwise it was a decent day at work. I don’t feel as rushed or as far behind as last week, but I did spend hours and hours leading calls and it was exhausting. My voice is starting to give out from talking so much. I need to make these classes more interactive and have someone else read stuff once in a while. Or something. In any case, it was a pretty productive day. Now I’m tired.
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February 8
I went against my moral code and worked on a weekend. As much as it goes against my core values, I’m glad I did, because I got more done in three hours than I would have been able to do all week, and now I don’t have to stress about getting it done. We also scratched off a movie card (yes, now we have scratch-off movie cards too) and ended up watching Raiders of the Lost Ark while playing Mount Cleverest. And just because I have to brag, I completed this Sunday Times puzzle with only three mistakes. Maybe I have some of my mom’s crossword talent after all.
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February 7
Christina had a short competition where only her trio performed. They did so great! They earned a platinum award, first place overall, and a judges showmanship award. I’m so proud of them, even though it was an insanely long day. Definitely worth the long wait!
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February 6
There is so much that needs to be done by Monday and no working days to do it. I am adamantly opposed to working during off hours, but in this case, it’s more for my own sanity than anything else. I’ll just have to keep it moderated. It was otherwise a pretty boring day. Christina went back to school and dance and I did some reading. I’m currently reading The Warmth of Other Suns, which is incredibly eye-opening. I’m embarrassed by how little of this history I know, but I’m glad I’m learning it now. Even though Florida would probably rather I didn’t. Oh well, fuck you, Florida.
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February 5
It’s hard to believe it’s been 34 years since my dad died. The more time that passes, the more I realize how little I know about him. Like, I don’t know what his favorite flavor cake was. I think his favorite color was blue, but I’m not sure. He liked birds and drawing and he was a funny guy. I remember one year my mom went away for a weekend and Dad bought TV dinners and we watched football while we ate. I think it’s the only time I can remember Dad ever watching football. And I also remember how classically terrible that TV dinner was. But it’s still one of my favorite memories of Dad. That and playing with him in the snow. And riding the lawn mower with him. Ok, so there were some moments worth remembering. I just wish there had been more.
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February 4
Christina now has the flu. At least once she’s done with it, we’ll all be done with it. Sheesh. Work is still beating my butt, but I took this afternoon “off” (just canceled my meetings) and managed to mostly more or less catch up. I feel a little better tonight than I did yesterday. The soap on my office window seems to have helped. No birds flew into their own reflection today. That’s a relief. I guess that’s about it for today. Not too exciting.
