Somehow I missed uploading this one. Oops. Took the kids to St. Augustine and poked around the shops on St. George St. It was more fun than staying home, anyway.
Tag: robin
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September 10
It was a day of running around. Robin wanted to go to the mall with her friends, but then when we got there, she felt left out, which kind of ruined it for her, especially since she’d really been excited about it. I got home with about 15 minutes to have lunch before going out to teach my NAMI class, and I spilled my entire bottle of Diet Coke, which did nothing for my mood. But Robin and I had Legos at the end of the day, and man, that was good.
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September 2
Trying to make more of an effort to do fun things. The pool was nearly empty and it was definitely cooler today than it was last week, but we had fun anyway. There was only minimal fighting over goggles.
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August 29
I didn’t even bother editing this photo. It’s the only one I took and it’s terrible. We went out to a new restaurant. It was good but overpriced, I thought. The food was good, but I’d have expected more ambiance and more of an experience for the price. At least I got out of the house.
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August 19
We had planned on going to the pool this morning, but Robin’s body had other plans, so she asked to go roller skating instead. We were told she couldn’t skate along the wall and that slower skaters had to go in the middle of the floor. She was terrified and stood at the edge of the rink for almost 20 minutes in tears before she finally gathered the courage to give it a try. And she fucking did it. And the thing that melted my heart most of all is that her sister sat and waited with her without a single judging word until Robin was ready and then she held her hand while Robin made her way around the inner circle. They actually do love each other. I’m so proud of both of them.
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August 17
I took Robin to the doctor today and Robin told him she’d keep going to cheer, at least for now. My heart hurts for her. And I am just completely burned out. I am drowning in work and trying to keep the house afloat while Billy is at work and at football practice and at the gym. And I’m trying to keep up with church obligations and bills and returning texts and phone calls. I knit for an hour at night and read for 45 minutes in the morning and that’s all I get after pouring my heart into everything else. I have to cut back somewhere. I just don’t know where. Everything feels important. And I don’t know who can do it instead. But something’s going to break somewhere. I’ve got to decide what’s most important and put the rest to the side.
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August 14
Today was the first day of school. It seemed to go pretty well. No one came home miserable, at least. Robin had a panic attack at cheer. She is feeling enormous pressure to do well on her team, which is both in her head and not in her head. I’m trying to help her build up more self confidence so that she can feel the pressure as a form of encouragement rather than criticism. I don’t want her to give up what she loves because she doesn’t feel she’s good enough. Of course she’s good enough. Now to get her to believe it.
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August 13
Christina is both excited and nervous for the first day of school. Probably more nervous than excited. Worried about where she’ll go when she gets to her classroom, whether she’ll have any friends in her class, whether she’ll ever see Kiley again… I tried my best to ease her mind, but you know how anxiety is. At least we have table-top curling to take our minds off things. She was a little exuberant with her stones. This one went flying across the room.
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August 10
Tonight was teacher meet and greets at the kids’ school and boy did the kids run straight for Ms. LaTanya. And boy did she not just stop everything she was doing to embrace them. I’m sure there are lots of great schools out there, but I doubt if any of them could ever feel as much a part of our family as this one. Christina’s best friend isn’t in her class this year (oh the DEVASTATION), but she was off the walls crazy excited nonetheless. Robin’s BFF is in her class, so yay for that! She feels better now that she’s seen all her classrooms and met all her teachers, all of whom seem incredibly nice. They’re both excited for school to start. We’ll see what happens by this time next week.
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August 5
Christina had a birthday party to go to today, so I took Robin to go shopping for school clothes. As we were leaving the parking lot, I noticed a Subway across the street that I’d never noticed before and so Robin and I got a special mother-daughter lunch together. These are the little things I remember about my mom and I hope Robin appreciates the one on one time with me as much as I did with my mom. If not, well, maybe a sandwich is really just a sandwich. And I guess that’s ok too.
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July 31
There was a bit of a mental breakdown today. I have been trying to make everyone around me happy on this trip and it just hasn’t worked. Robin hated me for making her hike up two mountains, Billy didn’t seem to want to hike with us at all. I felt like I was bringing Siggi and Brett into drama they don’t need. I finally broke down at the end of the day when I didn’t understand the GPS and then I drove over a curb. It was ugly. But I stole this smile from Robin when she wasn’t paying attention and I’ll take it. Maybe she doesn’t hate me completely.
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July 22
Billy had the idea to let the girls paint their bedroom doors however they wanted, so I bought them some paint, laid down some tarp over the floor, and let them at it. I went out for lunch with Myrna while they were still working and they were done by the time I got home. I love the creativity.
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July 17
My stress level is at a 9. I’m working through it all, but sometimes it just gets to me. I’m very tired.
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July 14
If this were the last snowfall,
No more halos on evergreens;
If this were my last glimpse of winter,
What would these eyes see?If this were the last slow curling
Of your fingers in my palm;
If this were the last I felt you breathing,
How would I carry on?This is not the last snowfall,
Not our last embrace.
But if I were that kind of grateful,
What would I try to say?-Vienna Teng, The Last Snowfall
Year in Photos 