I was on the road and couldn’t fill out a bracket before the March Madness started, so I printed out paper ones for me and Billy before I looked at any scores. Billy had already seen some of the scores, so he got one freebie that I missed (really, High Point?), but otherwise we’re on even ground. I’m having fun looking up all the scores and marking up the brackets. I am a nerd. We were going to go to Sea World today, but Christina still isn’t feeling well. We did come to Orlando (which was a wall of traffic from start to finish, thank you, Florida), but I think we’re going to stay in. Hopefully Christina feels better tomorrow. If not, she’s going to have to find a bench to lie down on because we have to check out of the hotel at 11.
Tag: bed
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March 14
It was a pretty smooth drive to Virginia today, but oh so long and boring. It was nice to arrive before dinner time so we had time to relax a little before heading back out. I’m loving my new car, which welcomed us to every state we drove through and only needed 1 1/4 tanks of gas to go 500 miles. Not too shabby, little car.
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February 26
Today was a day for AI. I have a GPT at work named Fred who helped me write my goals, write up a control for my training program, and even talked me down when I was feeling like my class was getting away from me. I was very resistant to the idea of relying on AI to do work I’m already good at, but it really is helping me take things to another level. It thinks of things that I’m already thinking, but gives that thinking a little extra flesh. I know there’s a ton of controversy around AI, but I’ve found it to be a powerful tool if you don’t rely on it to do the work for you. And my pal Fred appreciates my sarcasm, and for that alone I’ll keep him.
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January 15
I have been absolutely exhausted. Every time I start doing one thing, I get pulled into something else. Everything feels unfinished and chaotic. So when the kids started fighting about Kraft mac and cheese while I was trying to finish two other things at work, I kind of gave up on life. I tried so hard to solve the problem, but Robin wouldn’t talk to me except to say, “I don’t care” and Christina wouldn’t listen to me without interrupting me to say, “OK!” So by the time I got to dance, I was done. I was so done that I turned to the only person I could think of: ChatGPT. It recommended dinner out at Carrabba’s, and don’t you know, it was a good decision. It wasn’t perfect, but I did leave a little happier, if only utterly exhausted. What a day. I’m ready for bed.
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August 15
I cleaned up my inbox, paid some bills, signed up for some races, fixed the not functioning air conditioner (with Billy), and cooked a yummy dinner, and now it’s time for bed. Good night.
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June 5
I set up three Apple Watches today. One for myself (my new one), one for Christina (my old one), and one for Robin, who had to unpair and reset hers since it wasn’t working right. There is something delicious about opening an Apple box. Even their packaging is well designed. Looking forward to tomorrow’s run.
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April 10
Thursdays are the new bane of my existence. 4:45 – drop Christina off at dance. 6:00 – drop Robin off at cheer. 6:15 – pick up Christina from dance. 7:00 – pick up Robin from cheer. Cheer and dance are 20-25 minutes away from each other, depending on traffic, especially at that time of day. I’m pretty sure most people would not agree to this, but until now it hasn’t been a problem because Billy has been able to help out. But now he has clients from 5:30-6:30 on Thursdays and we’re on our own. I got home from cheer at 7:20 and then at 8:00, after a quick dinner, I had a Zoom meeting with my co-facilitator for the NAMI class I’m teaching. When all was said and done, it was 8:30pm. By the time I was done with my shower, it was 9:00. I keep telling myself that the schedule will ease when Christina’s dance season ends at the end of May. I don’t know how this keeps happening. Eventually I will simply be too old. I think 45 is already too old. I’d like to hope the kids will appreciate it someday, but probably not for a long, long time, if ever. Despite it all, it feels worth it to me. I like watching them grow. It’ll even out eventually.
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February 28
We paid off all our debts today. What an amazing feeling! Everything is clicking right now. Things I didn’t think were possible. I’m not sure how this is happening or why, or how long it will last, but I’m going to enjoy every second of it while I can, with heaps and heaps of gratitude for what I’ve been given. Now if Robin can do well at tomorrow’s competition, that would be a nice cherry on top. But I will not be greedy.
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August 20
I feel so ineffective as a parent. I wish I had someone to give me all the answers, to make this all just a little bit easier. It feels like we’re all groping around in the dark, running into each other and the wall, and no one can find the door or the light switch. I keep hoping to find the answers.
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June 4
Billy and I went on a date on a rare night where no one had any evening activities planned. We enjoyed Italian delicacies and talked and it was nice. I especially loved that it was his suggestion. I was absolutely exhausted for some reason but enjoyed it anyway. It’s nice to feel loved.
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April 1
Some days you just want to throw in the trash and this was one of them. Nothing terrible happened, but I opted out of almost everything and literally made myself sick for no good reason. I guess the joke’s on me.
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January 5
I finally replaced my tire. Had to drive 20 minutes to the dealership just to talk to someone, but they squeezed me in without an appointment and got it done at no charge. I still think they need to either disable their phone lines altogether or learn how to return calls, but once I did finally talk to someone, the service was excellent. We also instituted family game night and played Uno Attack and Exploding Kittens. Christina has a vendetta for Billy in Exploding Kittens and targets him exclusively. And then he targets her exclusively and I quietly win the game. It’s a good system.
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December 13
It was a crazy evening. Christina’s dance class was extended to 8:30, which is when Billy leaves for work and I’m bringing Robin’s teammate home from practice. So I was all set to tell the dance studio I’d be there late, when Robin’s teammate let us know she was sick and not going to practice. That was good for picking up Christina at 8:30, but it left Robin without a ride to practice at 5:45, which is exactly the same time Christina’s class starts. So I had to take Robin to dance and drop Christina off 25 minutes early in order to get Robin to practice on time. But then half an hour before cheer practice, we got a note saying it had been cancelled. So everyone got where they needed to be when they needed to be there and I only got three new gray hairs. I just read all that and it makes no sense but welcome to my life.
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August 20
I am going long days without doing things I should be doing for myself. I need to try to remember that two hours is enough time to go and look at water or to sit under a tree, even if it is 100 degrees outside. Even 15 minutes is worth it. I need to try harder. It’s important.
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August 1
Drove home today and I am relieved to be back. It was a very difficult trip for me. I don’t think the kids will ever want to go hiking with me again. I killed them with mountains and heat and humidity and bugs and also mountains. I also really struggled to keep myself grounded. I spent the whole trip trying to make it special for everyone else, which only made me miserable because everyone else seemed to be miserable… which was obviously my fault since I am the resident orchestrator of happiness. I’m just glad it’s over and now I have to go back to the grind and hopefully find a way to bring back some joy for myself, if no one else.
Year in Photos 