Puzzles are my refuge. Billy took this one out, but I’ve taken it over. I’ve also been crossword puzzle crazy. It’s an escape. I appreciate it, but it’s coming at the expense of things that actually do need to get done. I’m trying to care.
Category: August 2023
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August 30
I feel a little bit like I am standing in a room, trying to catch confetti. Things are flying all around me and I’m only managing to deal with tiny little pieces of it in no particular order. It’s making me very tired.
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August 29
I didn’t even bother editing this photo. It’s the only one I took and it’s terrible. We went out to a new restaurant. It was good but overpriced, I thought. The food was good, but I’d have expected more ambiance and more of an experience for the price. At least I got out of the house.
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August 28
Taking pictures is just not top of mind for me lately. There are too many other things taking up space. I need to start making more time for it, though, and more time for myself.
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August 27
I have this exact same picture of Christina from when she was 2. Some things never change.
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August 25
Saw Dr. Nader today and as usual, she sent me text messages with links to the latest workouts she’s been trying. She is up on every workout and diet fad there is, and every time I see her, she is trying to get me to do another one. I’m just happy I weigh ten pounds less than last time, and I didn’t need a 6-8 times a day ab workout to do it, either. So I got ice cream after dinner.
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August 24
Today I pissed Robin off because I refused to talk to her until she stopped screaming at me. She got so angry that she slammed her door in my face and threw a sneaker at the door as hard as she could for good measure. I guess sometimes you just can’t be calm or reasonable, and as long as you’ve got a sneaker and a door, that’s ok.
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August 22
I just haven’t had the time, energy or inclination to take daily photos, but I am committed to it. I’ve picked up my knitting again for the first time all year. I don’t know if people appreciate the things I make for them, but at least it keeps me occupied. Right now that’s a good thing.
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August 21
I finished reading A Tale of Two Cities. I highly doubt that my 8th- or 9th- grade self would have appreciated this book at that time, but I really liked it now. I’m sad it took me this long to read it. Charles Dickens was really brilliant. I had no idea what it was about before I read it and it was kind of nice being surprised. Lots to think about.
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August 20
I am going long days without doing things I should be doing for myself. I need to try to remember that two hours is enough time to go and look at water or to sit under a tree, even if it is 100 degrees outside. Even 15 minutes is worth it. I need to try harder. It’s important.
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August 19
We had planned on going to the pool this morning, but Robin’s body had other plans, so she asked to go roller skating instead. We were told she couldn’t skate along the wall and that slower skaters had to go in the middle of the floor. She was terrified and stood at the edge of the rink for almost 20 minutes in tears before she finally gathered the courage to give it a try. And she fucking did it. And the thing that melted my heart most of all is that her sister sat and waited with her without a single judging word until Robin was ready and then she held her hand while Robin made her way around the inner circle. They actually do love each other. I’m so proud of both of them.
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August 17
I took Robin to the doctor today and Robin told him she’d keep going to cheer, at least for now. My heart hurts for her. And I am just completely burned out. I am drowning in work and trying to keep the house afloat while Billy is at work and at football practice and at the gym. And I’m trying to keep up with church obligations and bills and returning texts and phone calls. I knit for an hour at night and read for 45 minutes in the morning and that’s all I get after pouring my heart into everything else. I have to cut back somewhere. I just don’t know where. Everything feels important. And I don’t know who can do it instead. But something’s going to break somewhere. I’ve got to decide what’s most important and put the rest to the side.
Year in Photos 